Monday, January 23, 2012

Week 3: Gentleness Challenge - Anger Management


Anger management… WHAT?!?!?! Yes, I read the post for the week 3 challenge and was like… “YES! I can do this!” and I’d like to say I immediately pulled out my Bible and highlighted all of the Proverbs passages and applied them to every day… buuuuut, that’s not what took place, instead I failed miserably this week.

I did pull out my Bible and yes, I did read the passages every morning – but it seemed the words went in and right out.  Every time I heard a whine or another dog bite on my kid or another potty training mess (not from my son, but the DOG) or hearing from my husband “CALM DOWN” – I was ready to explode!!!

AND unfortunately, the issue that made me more than angry ended up being a planned party for my son’s friends to come over to celebrate the joy of winter… I worked hard, my son anticipated this night… and we were expecting 5 families… and NO ONE showed up! To see my son’s mouth quiver when daddy came home and then asked him where is everyone… and then his reaction, which he seemed to take it alright, but his reaction was FAR different than I thought it would be… he pushed buttons ALL evening long.  I could have just cried… actually, I did after I put him to bed.  Then I was so outraged I was literally ready to list the house and MOVE!!! I’ve had it with this area and trying to make friends and friends for my son and to realize that people have the attitude of a depressed state… you know that attitude of… “oh yeah, that would be FUN (for the moment)” then when it’s planned, set in stone, people say “yes” to come, then never show because that “day” they just don’t feel like it and then you hear all the lists of excuses AFTERwards.

I didn’t know what to do, I pulled out my Bible and began to read this:

Matthew 5:22
But I say, if you are angry with someone, you are subject to judgement!
If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought
before the high council.  And if you curse someone, you are
in danger of the fires of the hell.

You probably read that and did what I did… (jaw drop)… “Did I REALLY read that, right?!” Oh yeah, I had to read it over and over and over and over… and then I just dropped the Bible, threw my hands up in the air, and literally prayed this prayer:

Dear Daddy,

I really needed this verse tonight.  An anger rose up so deep within me tonight, that I truly lost sight of what was right - seeing my son hurt because of others was not right to him.  But my anger was not right either, and I ask for your forgiveness.  Father, help me to teach my son through this and show him that there is no disappointment with You (Romans 8:5).  I am one with You, Jesus, may the seeds you planted within me grow, weed out the things that need to be taken out, reveal to me roots that need to be completely pulled out, and may I reflect You to others around me.  Thank You for showing me that the ultimate power is with You and that power resides in me! I have nothing to fear! I praise You, Daddy! May the words of my mouth, the actions of what I do, and the thoughts I think bring glory to You! In Jesus' name, Amen!

I may have failed this week in being a “gentle” mommy, but I am so glad that I was able to teach my son through the disappointment – people may fail us, but God NEVER does and we can put our FULL trust and hope in Him because He never disappoints us! I had to take the anger to the cross and allow God to show me how to teach through this situation and God took me back to Romans 8:5 – a verse that I turned to after a miscarriage and the hope of having baby just seemed hopeless, but it wasn’t.  And I got to bless my son in the same way, God blessed me with that verse.

I am SO thankful God is truly slow to anger and I pray that God will continue to change me and help me work on anger.  I am praying for the roots of it and God is showing me things, little things, here and there on what to work on…

  • Praise More!
    God showed me a glimpse of a weekend, my husband and I struggle on the weekends when were together as a family, the buttons seemed to get pushed more, everyone is tired (except the energizer bunny son) and God let me realize that we correct MORE than we actually PRAISE.  We are constantly saying, “sit still, eat your food, stop that, don’t hit, don’t squish the dog, don’t pull on the dog, be kind, be gentle, stop, stop, stop, stop…” Ugh! I’m exhausted just writing it out.  So, I’ve put reward charts BACK up – I have lots of them.  One for good behavior, One for Kindness, One for Gentleness, One for You’ve Been Caught (being good), and they are all over the house and even one in the car and one in my purse (for when we are on the go).  I realize how well the kindness jewels worked and now God is showing me my next challenge – 30 Days of Appreciation.  I can’t wait!

So, this next week… I am going to praise, even it means I can’t think of something to praise over, I have created a box of praises to pull out and read in those moments – and I have to say it really does work to calm you down and realize “I am making an impact, even if some moments don’t make me think so.” J  I encourage you to create a praise box – put all the things you can think of onto slips of paper that are for praise to your son or even funny moments that make you laugh – when you pull this out, you’ll soon realize all the emotions come back into check!

Blessings,
~Bekah


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