Week 3: Gentleness Challenge - Anger Management

Anger management… WHAT?!?!?! Yes, I read the post for the week 3 challenge and was like… “YES! I can do this!” and I’d like to say I immediately pulled out my Bible and highlighted all of the Proverbs passages and applied them to every day… buuuuut, that’s not what took place, instead I failed miserably this week.

I did pull out my Bible and yes, I did read the passages every morning – but it seemed the words went in and right out.  Every time I heard a whine or another dog bite on my kid or another potty training mess (not from my son, but the DOG) or hearing from my husband “CALM DOWN” – I was ready to explode!!!

AND unfortunately, the issue that made me more than angry ended up being a planned party for my son’s friends to come over to celebrate the joy of winter… I worked hard, my son anticipated this night… and we were expecting 5 families… and NO ONE showed up! To see my son’s mouth quiver when daddy came home and then asked him where is everyone… and then his reaction, which he seemed to take it alright, but his reaction was FAR different than I thought it would be… he pushed buttons ALL evening long.  I could have just cried… actually, I did after I put him to bed.  Then I was so outraged I was literally ready to list the house and MOVE!!! I’ve had it with this area and trying to make friends and friends for my son and to realize that people have the attitude of a depressed state… you know that attitude of… “oh yeah, that would be FUN (for the moment)” then when it’s planned, set in stone, people say “yes” to come, then never show because that “day” they just don’t feel like it and then you hear all the lists of excuses AFTERwards.

I didn’t know what to do, I pulled out my Bible and began to read this:

Matthew 5:22

But I say, if you are angry with someone, you are subject to judgement!

If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought

before the high council.  And if you curse someone, you are

in danger of the fires of the hell.

You probably read that and did what I did… (jaw drop)… “Did I REALLY read that, right?!” Oh yeah, I had to read it over and over and over and over… and then I just dropped the Bible, threw my hands up in the air, and literally prayed this prayer:

Dear Daddy,

I really needed this verse tonight.  An anger rose up so deep within me tonight, that I truly lost sight of what was right - seeing my son hurt because of others was not right to him.  But my anger was not right either, and I ask for your forgiveness.  Father, help me to teach my son through this and show him that there is no disappointment with You (Romans 8:5).  I am one with You, Jesus, may the seeds you planted within me grow, weed out the things that need to be taken out, reveal to me roots that need to be completely pulled out, and may I reflect You to others around me.  Thank You for showing me that the ultimate power is with You and that power resides in me! I have nothing to fear! I praise You, Daddy! May the words of my mouth, the actions of what I do, and the thoughts I think bring glory to You! In Jesus' name, Amen!

I may have failed this week in being a “gentle” mommy, but I am so glad that I was able to teach my son through the disappointment – people may fail us, but God NEVER does and we can put our FULL trust and hope in Him because He never disappoints us! I had to take the anger to the cross and allow God to show me how to teach through this situation and God took me back to Romans 8:5 – a verse that I turned to after a miscarriage and the hope of having baby just seemed hopeless, but it wasn’t.  And I got to bless my son in the same way, God blessed me with that verse.

I am SO thankful God is truly slow to anger and I pray that God will continue to change me and help me work on anger.  I am praying for the roots of it and God is showing me things, little things, here and there on what to work on…

• Praise More!
  God showed me a glimpse of a weekend, my husband and I struggle on the weekends when were together as a family, the buttons seemed to get pushed more, everyone is tired (except the energizer bunny son) and God let me realize that we correct MORE than we actually PRAISE.  We are constantly saying, “sit still, eat your food, stop that, don’t hit, don’t squish the dog, don’t pull on the dog, be kind, be gentle, stop, stop, stop, stop…” Ugh! I’m exhausted just writing it out.  So, I’ve put reward charts BACK up – I have lots of them.  One for good behavior, One for Kindness, One for Gentleness, One for You’ve Been Caught (being good), and they are all over the house and even one in the car and one in my purse (for when we are on the go).  I realize how well the kindness jewels worked and now God is showing me my next challenge – 30 Days of Appreciation.  I can’t wait!

So, this next week… I am going to praise, even it means I can’t think of something to praise over, I have created a box of praises to pull out and read in those moments – and I have to say it really does work to calm you down and realize “I am making an impact, even if some moments don’t make me think so.” J  I encourage you to create a praise box – put all the things you can think of onto slips of paper that are for praise to your son or even funny moments that make you laugh – when you pull this out, you’ll soon realize all the emotions come back into check!

Blessings,

~Bekah

Gentleness Challenge - Week 2

Our Assignment for the week: I encourage you this week to smile more, hug more, SLOW DOWN, listen, take a deep breath.  When you feel like screaming – whisper.  Pray pray and then pray some more.  Take time to write out, meditate and memorize 2 Corinthians 15:17 and Galatians 5:22-23.

To help with this week's challenge, I decided I needed to change some habits of my own.  So I made it a point to:

• Wake up 1 hour before everyone else to exercise, read my Bible, pray, and get ready for the day
• Make breakfast to be served BEFORE leaving the house and reading Proverbs to my son at the table
• Made a NEW schedule and made sure to include "snuggle with mommy" times throughout the day
• In the evenings, instead of watching TV as a family, we are doing devotions, activities, and taking time to enjoy each other
• After my son goes to bed, I clean the kitchen and prep breakfast/lunch for the next day

These changes REALLY helped ease morning frustrations that lead to anger and yelling... and NOW we have smiling happy faces! :) And plenty of giggles at the breakfast table.

Then we created a "kindness/gentleness" jar for each person.  Every time any one of us does something kind or gentle, a "jewel" is awarded and placed in their jar.  At the end of this week, we'll make a crown to remind us that God also rewards us for all the kind/gentle things we do and gives us a crown of jewels in heaven.

I love this challenge!!! :)

Blessings,

~Bekah

Ever dread the word "goals"???

There is something about a new year that makes everyone set a goal list.  I'm one of those people that used to run away from the word "goal" - and it's not because I feared it, but more because I didn't understand it.

Then finally, one day, I was mentored by a wiser person with much youthful perspective, and he showed me how to set goals with a purpose.  He "made" me pitch out the electronic PDA with my calendar and notes and all that jazz that made me think everything was in order... at first I was very hesitant about that and really didn't like the idea of making a notebook.  But hey! Why not?! I like change and embraced the challenge.  So, I bought myself a notebook that I wouldn't mind staring at everyday... it's so cute with kittens on it and it's pink because well, I'm just girly like that! :)

Then this wonderful mentor of mine gave me a plan, made me really think about all the things that I hoard as "valuable" in my palm pilot and I wrote them down... it looked something like this:

• Calendar
• Schedules
• Homeschool
• Calendar
• Overview
• Lesson Plans
• Ideas
• Resources
• Blog Stuff
• Post Tracker List
• Ideas
• Resources
• Children's Ministry Stuff
• Nursery
• Calendar
• Volunteer Stuff
• Parent Ministry
• Events
• Preschool
• Calendar
• Volunteer Stuff
• Parent Ministry
• Lesson Overview
• Lesson Plans
• Events
• Forms
• Elementary
• Calendar
• Volunteer Stuff
• Parent Ministry
• Lesson Overview
• Lesson Plans
• Events
• Forms
• Recipes
• Prayer Requests
• Home Projects
• Missions
• Party Guides
• Scrapbook
• Resources

Then my list kept growing and growing that sooner or later I almost had a book! So, my mentor challenged me to pray about all the things I listed down and have God tell me what is really important and what is OK to weed out.  Needless to say, I sat down, I sought out God and asking Him about priorities and what should stay and what should go.


Well, nothing really went "bye bye" - I just started shrinking things into categories, and turned out with a list like this:

• Calendar/Scheduling
• Personal
• Goals
• Fitness
• Blog
• Homeschool
• Calendar
• Overview
• Lesson Plans
• Resources
• Children's Ministry Stuff
• Calendar
• Volunteer Stuff
• Parent Ministry
• Events
• Lesson Overview by Department
• Forms
• Spiritual Growth
• Prayer Requests
• Bible Study
• Notes

I met with my mentor showed him the list and I actually felt relieved... it was like I took an entire book and shrunk it into a short list that actually felt doable.  The stress of everything just came into 5 categories and that felt good!

That was accomplished last year, this year my mentor challenge me AGAIN!!! I love this man and so thankful he has taken time to mentor me with wisdom and guidance.  Anyways, that was off subject...


The challenge this year was to set 3 goals for 30 days.  This got me thinking - how do I shrink my goal list down each month?! So, I had to pray... and sure enough God revealed the way (He is so faithful to answer!).


Can you imagine completing 3 goals in 30 days? Then do that every month! By the end of the year, you will have accomplished 36 GOALS!!! It is so doable!


And I'm going to help you with this... I created a 1 sheet printable for you to set your own goals for each month.  You can download it HERE.


How to set your goals:
1. Make a list of everything you would like to accomplish.
2. Pray and ask God which is most important - highlight those.
3. Pray and ask God which needs to be done first - write that under the first  
    month in the first space.
4. Pray and ask God which needs to be done second, third.
5. Repeat for next month!




Be a Blessing!
~Bekah

Gentleness Challenge

I find this challenge to be fitting, since 2 of my resolutions are:

When normal childhood mishaps occur, I will remember that although difficult, it is still easier to remove grape juice from off-white carpet than to erase harsh and unloving words hurled at a child whose chubby little fingers have failed him/her, for by this my child will see a God who understands when our best efforts fall short.

When my child has witnessed something ugly in me - unkind words, an angry temper, "harmless" gossip, biting sarcasm or even my infamous "girl pout" when things don't go my way - I will confess it as sin before him/her seeking their forgivenss, for by this my child will develop the much needed habit of wiping their spiritual slate clean before God and man.

I can honestly say I have lost my temper with my own son and I know that "guilty" feeling that creeps up and all you can do is say "I'm sorry"... but it doesn't erase the memories or the feelings my son felt in that moment.  This is an area that I truly want to work on and diving into this challenge, I ask the Lord to open my heart for receiving, open my eyes for seeing what needs to change, and open my ears for hearing what needs to be spoken to me.

If you want to join this challenge, just click on the image above and link up!

~Bekah